To Her

Love

I.

Until I loved you,

I wrote verse, drew pictures,

And went out with friends

For walks…

Now that I love you,

Curled like an old mongrel

My life lies content

In you…

Freedom

II.

You planned to tame a swallow, to hold her

In the long summer of your love so that she would forget

Not the raw seasons alone, and homes left behind, but

Also her nature, the urge to fly, and the endless

Pathways of the sky…

To love. To freedom. To women.

To Madhavi Kutty.

To Kamala Das Suraiya. In her words. RIP (March 31, 1934-May 31, 2009)

(Image: Shamim Qureshy)

From feline to feminine

Someone with a wise head once said: The best laid plans of men and mice always go awry. Mine just did. You are free to choose what fits me. And, you know the options.

Since I had a three-day break from work, two days owing to Dussehra and my day-off clubbed to it, I wanted a getaway. I knew exactly where to go. Into the wild. Track the tigers in a national park spread over some 1100 sq km. Guess what? I had everything ready, everything going for me. But what I did not realize was my options as a species were limited: Men and mice. Besides, I am from the journo breed.

So here I am now. With my plans up in smoke, I am back home. Tell you what? I am trying to cook up something, creating smoke. Literally. I have hit the kitchen because I always loved cooking. Mind you, cooking can be a great stress-buster. In fact, another Indian called Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar too shares the same passion.

This is not to say what kind of a cook I am (I am a pretty decent one though) but I have understood over the years (I am into this since I was 12 or 13) that the greatest pleasure that cooking gives you is the feeling of treating someone to food. If the person you are treating to is hungry, you earn some heavenly brownie points, I can assure you this. Even if she/he is not, it still is as good as it gets.

Trust me, to be able to feed someone is almost divine. And that sets women apart from men. For, they are the ones who keep us alive. I believe that’s the reason a man can never be a mother – I am not inclined to get into biology side of it – because the latter is always feeding us all, throughout our lives despite all the work burden. Men just cannot do that. They may make the best chefs but…..

Why I am saying all this? Hey, I am enjoying this streak of womanhood, damn it.

(Not a footnote; a headnote actually: The credit for the title goes to Trevor Penn)

Of Freedom

Nobody is free. We all like to believe otherwise though.

No, it's not an Independence Day thought for me. I remember arguing with my friends and colleagues (yes, all of them are married and I am not) that I can get up in the morning, pick up my backpack and head for the forests or mountains for trekking. And they can't. Is it freedom? I don't know if it is.

I guess freedom is the "space" you offer to people around you; people including your near and dear ones, your spouse, family members, friends and others who constitute your world. Freedom is when you let go of your insecurities; when you know not to possess. Freedom is when you realise you can give without actually seeking much in return. Am I making sense? You can tell me.

One thing I know for sure. Men pretend to be free. But they are not. For, they try to possess as they are insecure and want to retain control. They are a weak species compared to women. They even pretend that they believe in other's freedom. Then, that's just a pretension. It reminds me of the fiery Kamala Das (Surayya) when she wrote:


"You planned to tame a swallow, to hold her
In the long summer of your love so that she would forget
Not the raw seasons alone, and the homes left behind, but
Also her nature, the urge to fly, and the endless
Pathways of the sky...."