the long search

When you have nowhere to go, go back to yourself.

The Beginning

You know, when you have nowhere to go to, you got to go back to yourself. That's a truth I learnt. I won't say I learnt it the hard way but I could see it coming as a New Year approached. I took a break - the longest in my professional career of about 10 years - so that I could embark on the search. And here I am at Pondicherry. You got to correct me, it's Pudducherry now.

 

 

There is nothing really spectacular about this coastal town but the moment you step into Sri Aurobindo Ashram, you realise you have walked into a world where it is very difficult not to remain silent.

 

 

The power of silence can be so overwhelming that it at once forces you to talk to yourself. Your link with the outside world is severed. And you are just connected to yourself. The moment you close your eyes, shut yourself out, the entire life plays out like a 70 mm movie. Like a kaleidoscope.

 

 

That is when you meet yourself. You meet your I. Trust me, meeting yourself can be very disturbing. For me, it was. For, you start questioning yourself. You probe your every move, everything that you have done in your life. Your subconscious is awaken and it can take your peace away.

 

 

But that's exactly what I am doing. I am talking to myself. Interrogating the self. I am right in front of me. For, I have nowhere to go now.

1 comments:

ipsit 5 February 2008 at 00:58  

met yourself lately? Were you close and far at the same time. The introspection is scary. Is it possible to wish away the obvious questions. But then I know running away doesn't help. You have started the journey..keep it going

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If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed